As readers of this blog already know, I’m a big fan of cruising (see my book You Can Keep Your Adventure, Just Leave Me the Toilet Paper) In my professional experience, I have run across those who vehemently oppose the very idea of a vacation out on the briny. In this installment (and some future ones as well) I will use my insight, hindsight and foresight to explain why such opposition is unwarranted; nay, downright silly.
Tip #1 – Finding Your Escape Route
A common reason given by those who aren’t interested in a cruise vacation is the desire for privacy and the assumption that aboard a cruise ship, this is not a likely possibility. An understandable assumption to be sure, but we all know what happens when we assume.
The truth is that now more than ever, cruise guests have the option of greater privacy and less forced interaction with the maddening hordes clogging the buffet line. They key lies in knowing where to go (and not go) to get away from it all. The following are some examples of where you can go to escape the crowds so that this lame excuse of needing “privacy” can be debunked for the myth it truly is.
1) Your Cabin
Consider your cabin your own personal sanctuary. It is your space and your space alone. You can refuse daily cleaning service. You can order room service all day long from your bunk. You don’t even have to leave until disembarkation. If you want to live like a recluse and let your hair and fingernails grow until they curl, that is your option. Of course, if this is the option you choose, you might want to ask yourself why you’ve bothered to cruise at all. You’ll also probably want to take a shower.
Yes, for those moments you wish to be utterly alone, you can hide out in your own accommodations. If that’s your game plan, then I highly recommend that you invest on a nice cabin – preferably one with a balcony or a porthole – where you can take your rest and room service in peace. It will also help to get rid of the stink.
2) Your Table
That’s right, most cruise lines these days give guests the option of choosing freestyle dining times and configurations. So if you’re turned off at the idea of a week of forced conversation with strangers (which can be a lot more fun that you think) just let the maitre’d know you want a table for two. You and your significant other/family can dine in peace without hearing about how much the middle-aged couple from the Midwest lost at the casino or a how the elderly couple from Florida almost won at Bingo but were waiting on an I 27.
More and more, recently refitted ships are reserving portions of their public space as adult-only areas. Usually in the vicinity of the spa, these oases are all about relaxation and tranquility, and have zero room for screaming infants – or for that matter, any other screaming individuals regardless of their age . You may not be completely alone, but you’ll be far enough from the masses so that with a decent set of headphones it should be more than just an adequate amount of privacy.
4) Libraries and Lounges
Every ship has those little corners that look nice in the brochure but are often underutilized. The libraries are commonly without seething throngs of patrons and there’s always a bar or lounge that sits quietly when no scheduled activities are taking place. If you’d like to get out of your cabin but still would rather not rub elbows with the masses, this might just be a good compromise.
5) Your Own Balcony
I alluded to this in the first listing, but having a private balcony means you get to be with you, your travel partner(s) and the ocean below – that’s it. If that’s not enough privacy, then perhaps you should move out to a cabin in the woods. I hear the Unabomber’s is available…
There are other places you can go for “privacy” on a cruise ship – your closet, your suitcase, or you can sneak into a smokestack. But the above suggestions are enough to brush aside the quote unquote lack of privacy issue. Besides, if you really want to be by yourself that badly, maybe you should stay at home. Just remember to crack a window…